


Valentines Day And Scalpel Kisses

by orphan_account



Category: One Piece
Genre: Doffy's an annoying uncle, Jean Bart's in the doghouse, Law's adorably grumpy, Luffy's forgetful, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 15:18:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6013749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now, everyone has forgotten Valentines Day once, or several times. No big deal, unless you're in a relationship with a mad scientist who has a fascination with creatures and fondness for scalpels.</p>
<p>This is Luffy's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Valentines Day And Scalpel Kisses

Now Luffy is sorta patient.

Patient on some things (watching Law unravel beneath him) while on others, he's not (when meat takes too long to cook). He doesn't really think he's patient, maybe patient when someone needs to talk about something, but not really on anything else other than that and Law. But some, not many, know he's a sorta patient guy with odd tastes in everything from food down to his (questionable) taste in men.

When Luffy dragged himself through his front door (his and- well, his boyfriends) with his feet sore and vest clinging to his back from sweat because of having to track down some idiot in that weird desert-like place where Vivi rules, with Zoro. Being a hunter- detective, (Ace said he's not suppose to call it the 'h' word) is a tiring job, especially when the guy you're hunting came from an alien planet and destroyed the sandwich you were eating that Sanji made especially for you! Sanji makes the best food... Only wanting to watch tv, maybe shower, and crash in his big comfortable bed with his sexy boyfriend (after pulling him away from his lab, that is). But instead of walking to his normal kitchen with the marble counters and large fridge (okay, so... maybe not 'normal') and trying to find those cheetos in the cabinet and the leftover beefsteak he stored in the fridge behind Law's favorite jam, he found two dead dudes in science coats with Law's uncles marks on said coats.

Luffy frowns, sighing at the fact that Doffy's trying to recruit Law into helping him, again. (You would think after your nephew blowing your factory up and unleashing all your scientific creatures, causing a government scandal, that you would get the picture that he doesn't want to work with you.)

Law said no, apparently. The younger male flicks on the secret switch behind the small white garbage can, tapping his foot impatiently as the wall shifts away, revealing long and winding stone steps leading into a darkness that resembles a dungeon from a horror movie.

Luffy grumbles to himself, fingers latching onto the railing of the stairs and taking it step by step, ready to argue with the other male at each step that cramps up his bare feet. His day just gets worse and worse... especially since somethings been bugging him at the back of his mind.

...

After descending the winding steps with his feet aching at every step, Luffy finds himself at the bottom with fizzing sounds from Law's experiments reaching his ears while the lights on the ceiling blind him and the coldness present in the lab causes goosebumps to break out up and down his arms and legs.

"Oi! Law!" the younger male shouts, stomping to where he knows the morbid man is from the sound of conversation and the very familiar voice that bounds off the walls in its smooth deepness that can only belong to one six-foot-something tall mad scientist that he knows and loves.

Luffy turns another corner, passing up various captive creatures the public has no idea about, turning left then right before finding the correct hallway. And there Law is, black hair messy and all over his head with dark circles more prominent underneath his eyes. It makes the young detective falter in his rant before Law looks up at him, eyebrow quirked and lips in a deep pout with his assistants gathered around him, working on saving some unknown purple creatures life.

"Explain this!" Luffy demands, fists on his hips with a frown and in a stance that's the literal meaning of scolding, looking more like a mother than a lover at the moment. (Penguin wonders if Makino's rubbed off on Straw Hat). By the way his captain stops, it seems like he's not the only one who's wondering the same thing. Shachi even does a double-take while Bepo has a similar reaction to their captain.

Law raises both eyebrows at the sight, scalpel poised above the purple beasts beating heart as Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo look toward their captain, curious for his response. "Well, Mugiwara-ya, I'm currently trying to save the last member of a-"

"Not that!" Luffy crosses his arms, interrupting the other mans calm explanation. "The dead guys' upstairs!" Law sighs, calmly setting down his scalpel and removing his gloves as he regards his lover all the while with his stormy greyish blue eyes.

"I'll take care of-"

"No! You're cleaning it up now! Baka Torao!" the young detective demands, causing the scientists eyes to narrow and the two assistants to sweat drop at the tension while looking at each other.

Penguin silently asking his fellow redheaded assistant (Shachi) whether they should remind their captain of the last member of a highly intelligent species currently dying on their operating table who turns to Bepo with wide eyes for an answer, the polar bear shakes his head solemnly in response.

"Don't order me around, Straw-Hatter." Law retorts, eyes narrowed and arms now crossed as he meets his lover's dark eyes, annoyance clear on his face.

"Oh! I'm the crazy scientist guy in a secret dungeon thing!" Luffy says, emphasizing with his arms at the very well maintained hidden lab. The Dark Scientist scowls as Shachi quirks a brow at Penguin who shrugs and replies silently ("The Mad Hatter from Alice In Wonderland?")

"What's this really over, Luffy-ya? You don't expect me to believe you're pissed off over dead bodies in our kitchen." Law replies, arms crossed and eyes unconcerned, almost bored, while looking at the shorter male who narrows his eyes further with something akin to suspicion. (It can't be suspicion, Straw Hat isn't capable of possessing such a thing.)

Luffy narrows his eyes, fists at his side from the way the others sizing him up in that weird manipulative way he knows Law can do. He hates it. "...What's Law trying to say?"

"I'm not saying anything, Mugiwara-ya." The assistants, Bepo, and Jean Bart (who came back from the break room) watch the lover's bicker, use to their captain switching between Japanese and English nicknames for his shorter other-half. They both gives nicknames to each other, which Nami deems 'pet names' to which Law vehemently denies and Luffy scrunches up his nose in confusion at ("Pet names? What's that? Can I eat it? Huh, Torao? I can't? That suuucckkss~")

The straw hat wearing man glares at his lover warily who calmly regards him back, a contrast from moments before when both were glaring and bickering like an old married couple or teenage lovers. To Penguin, It's hard to tell which one the two act more alike. Sometimes, it's a domestic argument about who let the highly deadly, but easily managed, flying eyeballs out from their cage. And that's another thing, they bought those...  _things_ , on their anniversary. While other times, it's silly things like when one time Luffy didn't call because he forgot and his captain sulked all day. The thing today... it's more like a teenage lovers thing. Jean Bart watches the two keenly, ready to break up a physical fight between them (but not glad for it, Straw Hat's punches and captains scalpel combined hurts worse than listening to Nami bicker). Shachi and Bepo glance at each other briefly, in silence.

"There's two dead bodies in our kitchen, Torao! And, I'm tired." Luffy finishes lamely, pouting back at Law before continuing, "What's your problem?" silence follows as the couple narrow their eyes at each other, glaring with crossed arms in a stand off of D's.

Shachi and Penguin give each other a sideway glance, glad that no punches have flew but unnerved by the way the two are staring at each other and the deafening silence surrounding them in their apparent stand off to the death. Considering their both D's, it's a standoff that can last for hours if not for years, they're that  _stubborn_.

Bepo glances at his captain, silently vowing to kick Straw-hat's ass for forgetting what today is, an important day to his captain. Secretly of course, his captain's a romantic at heart, despite popular belief and appearance. Captain does act laid back and... creepy.

Law's frown deepens before he turns his back, lab coat flying up as he stalks to the operating rooms' door, radiating something that makes Shachi feel weak in his limbs. "Fine." Luffy's eyes widen, arms almost uncrossing at the battle easily won. Battles between them before have involved explosions and scalpel pulling's, not to mention World Government involvement. Talk about trying to explain  _that_  to Shank's... and Gramps. And Corazon. And Makino. (Makino was the hardest to explain to.)

...

After the Dark Scientist leaves the room, the young detective glances over at them, his arms crossed with a frown. "What's Torao's problem?" Penguin shrugs as Shachi freezes briefly, eyes darting nervously to the side as he rubs the back of his neck while Bepo and Jean Bart watch quietly from a distance, stepping back carefully from the conversation.

"Well.. captains got this thing about Valentines Day," the assistants nervous eyes meet Luffy's own, "And you're his first relationship." Shachi explains. Jean Bart grins at how Straw Hat's eyes go wide as he mutters a quiet 'Oh'. Briefly, something itches at the back of the former slaves mind, about copper eyes and orange hair with a temper that resembles a wild tiger.

"I forgot! I didn't know that it's February!" Luffy shouts pitifully, gripping onto Penguin's lab coat and shaking the taller male frantically.

"Sorry man," Penguin shrugs, "captain's a romantic at heart." Shachi watches Straw Hat with pity, shaking his head at the poor soul who has to sleep next to a vengeful mad scientist who has a fascination with creatures and fondness for scalpels. Probably amazing in bed though, all the crazy people usually are. Shachi glances at Penguin discreetly. Jean Bart grins.

"Traffy's gonna kill me..." Luffy mumbles into Penguin's jumper, defeated and looking utterly miserable. The older male pats him on the shoulder in reassurance.

"Nah, he likes your dick too much." Luffy grasps tighter at the lapels of the other males lab coat, eyes frantic and glued to Penguin's own.

"A dick can be removed." the shorter man explains urgently, like Penguin's the idiot. "And he has the tools to do it!" Bepo watches as Straw Hat shakes his fellow coworker like a rag doll while Shachi laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck at the situation.

"They'll never find my body... I'll be on some abandoned planet Torao decides to drop me off on..." Luffy sulks further into Penguin's jumper who offers no reassurance on his captains part of dismemberment and dumping body parts on some foreign planet.

Both the assistants and the polar bear, and former slave, sweat drops at the memory of said planets which Straw Hat could and very well maybe, placed on by the end of the day.

The clacking of boots make Luffy jump back and hurry to scrub the tears from his face, sniffling while Penguin tries to straighten his own jumper, scrunching his nose up in disgust at the snot and wet spots on his orange clothing.

"The mess is cleaned up, Straw-Hatter. Now, can I get back to my patient?" Law asks, eyes narrowed at his shorter lover who watches him approach, seeming to stare at him with puffy red eyes. Luffy thinks of all he can do, thoughts flashing through his mind before having a dancing Usopp appear with I-have-no-idea disease. Time to use instinct.

"TRAFFY!" Law quirks a brow, stopping in his steps as he narrows his eyes further at the man after getting over his initial shock. Luffy hits his knees, feet bare and his rugged straw hat falling to the floor next to him with his red vest open, showing off tell-tell scars. Determined and shining black eyes meet stormy ones, a hand holding the others in a vise-like grip.

"I love you." Luffy says simply, eyes fierce. Law actually blushes, a pink tint on his cheeks with his eyes wide and Shachi almost passes out (grabbing the still beeping heart monitor for support), Penguin gapes, Bepo blinks, and Jean Bart stares blankly, remembering a certain orange headed woman he forgot to buy a present for. (Miles away, Nami taps her foot, glancing impatiently at her watch and swearing revenge as she blows out one of the many vanilla candles decorating their room.)

The scientist clears his throat, taking back his hand with the pink still present on his face as he stares down at determined eyes that could only belong to his lover. "Let's have shower sex!" the younger declares suddenly, already grabbing the older man's hand and dragging him to the hallway which leads to the stairs who tries to protest in vain.

"Oi!"

"Then I'll take you to dinner!" Straw Hat throws over his shoulder at their flustered captain. Penguin watches as his flustered captain gets dragged out of the room by a determined Straw Hat and looks down at their now barely clinging on patient.

He glances at Shachi, "Risk another World War or let Straw Hat show captain the time of his life?" all assistants nod simultaneously. "World War it is." Penguin pulls the cover over the creatures head as Jean Bart mutters about being a "dead man walking" while Bepo and Shachi play rock paper scissors over who gets to inform Cora-san on their patient, leaving out where exactly their captain is at the moment.

...

Penguin sighs and wonders if there's any doritos left in the break room. For supply you know, considering that they just pissed off a confederation of enter galactic species that swore to protect the species of unknown, a.k.a the purple beast dead on their operating table.

Now if only whatever that happens upstairs doesn't echo down into the lab/hospital. Just because they're choosing to let Straw-hat show their captain the time of his life doesn't mean they want to hear said captain getting fucked against the shower tiles.

Something that sounds suspiciously like a moan vibrates off the walls, Penguin decides that their better be some fucking doritos or shits going to get World War  _way_  before Straw Hat's finished up there. Now if he could only get Shachi to agree to a date....

**Author's Note:**

> I know in One Piece actuality Law would never let a patient die and tarnish his reputation like that.


End file.
